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Cartoons and stuff to make you smile
#26
[Image: aV1NovfS.jpg]

I got this e-card, it's more of an eeeeek! card and very appropriate for this Halloween :vampirebat:

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.as...1933834166&source=jl999
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#27
Annette Wrote:[Image: aV1NovfS.jpg]

I got this e-card, it's more of an eeeeek! card and very appropriate for this Halloween :vampirebat:

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.as...1933834166&source=jl999
:tinkerbell: this was a great clip...amazing how its made is the question???
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#28
Ask Frank, I think he may know how they're made.
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#29
Annette Wrote:jibjab.com/view/172390 {I got this link from Sebastian in an email
good laugh and good site too!
;tinkerbell; this is the picture I told you about.IOI look in the funny photos. "whats the differance between amoose knuckle and a camel toe, also I like the photo that reads "from a womens point of view.have a good laugh.
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#30
[attachment=256] Northern Cal Barbies:

Mattel Inc. today announces the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls, specifically for the Northern California Market:

Pleasanton Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at the Stoneridge Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a cookie cutter house. Options include tummy tuck, face lift and a workaholic Ken.

San Ramon Barbie:
This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit available.

Richmond Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9-mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows and Meth Lab Ken.

Pinole Barbie:
This Barbie is the wanna-be San Ramon Barbie, only she usually carries a knife with which to stab her fellow Barbies in the back. She's available with cell phone, SUV and a drink in her hand.

El Sobrante Barbie:
This Barbie is truly one of a kind. Comes with Biker Ken & his Harley and a replica of the Capri Club. She only hangs out with Ken because he has a bike and when he's not around she's looking for another man - who has a bike. Watch out! She usually doesn't care if he has a wife or girlfriend. Otherwise known as Scooter Tramp Barbie.

Folsom Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped-up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card and shallow Ken.

Sacramento Barbie:
This Barbie comes with an exclusive set of luggage since she is always traveling to the Bay area or to Reno/Tahoe; very rarely stays at home. She comes with two basketball jerseys since she's an avid Kings/Monarchs fan. River Cats Ken available separately. State Worker version has a look of perpetual concern on her face over the disposition of her politically driven employment. Also comes with seasonal allergy kit

.
Yuba City Barbie:
This model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's butt when she's drunk. A pickup is available with stick-on Confederate flag bumper stickers.

Tahoe Barbie:
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear a leopard print ski outfit without looking passÊ, even if you are actually skiing.

Berkeley Barbie:
This Barbie actually comes in two variations. One has long gray hair and archless feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt. The other version has frizzy hair, a dingy white tank top, low cut jeans and scratch-n-sniff armpits.

Crockett/Hercules Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer-gutted, hollow gold-chain-wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely-there see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and rusty old Ford pick up.

San Francisco Barbie:
Immaculately turned out, couture dressed, cultured and well-coiffed. Wait, actually, that's San Francisco Ken.

They are working on developing an "Oakland Barbie", but she keeps getting shot.
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#31
CATS RULE
> 1. After dark, all cats are jaguars...
>
> 2. Never *ever* try to baptize a cat.
>
> 3. Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get a cat
> to pull a sled.
>
> 4. A cat knows your every thought. It doesn't care.
> But it knows .
>
> 5. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little
> feet, I will put shoes on my cat ...
>
> 6. Most people with cats, know they are being
> controlled. That's the horror of it ...
>
> 7. Never try to out stubborn a cat .
>
> 8. Thousands of years ago ,humans worshiped the cat
> . They have not forgotten this ...
>
> 9. Whenever I bathe my cat, it takes an hour to get
> the fur off of my tongue.
>
> 10. Dogs shed, cats shred
>
> 11. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
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#32
Death of Common Sense


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common
Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how
old he
was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing
when
to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that
life
isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are
in
charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned
but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition. It declined even further
when schools were required to get parental consent to administer
aspirin to
a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became
pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost
after a
woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she
spilled a
bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement Common Sense was
preceded
in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his
daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two
stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral
because so few realized he was gone. If you still know him pass this
on, if
not join the majority and do nothing.
[attachment=299]

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." ~ Edmund Burke
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#33
Mrs. Broomfield's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Broomfield's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.
However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant squawking and talking. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid bird!"
To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Brutus!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Black Hills.
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (pointing at the Indian)
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing to the Indian)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the elements."
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Indian: "Sheep lie."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Christmas card sent from a Democrat to his Republican Friend:

The election is over, the results are known,
the will of the people has clearly been shown.
Let's forget the quarrels and show by our deeds,
we will give our leader all the help that he needs.
So let's all get together, and let bitterness pass,
I'll hug your elephant and you kiss my ass.

[attachment=458]



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who is King of the Beasts? [attachment=457]





I Wish I Was A Bear...

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up. He also expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.
I wish I was a bear.

I can imagine Roseanne's T.V. character saying that Tongue


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#34
Ha Ha Ha...
That is so funny one.
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#35
got any you want to share?

this was sent to me by Laughingwolf:

happy halloween!

[attachment=483]
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#36
This is also from Laughingwolf

[attachment=491]
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#37
time for a new 'toon .. it's turkey time! [attachment=518]
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#38
this one Bears repeating


Annette Wrote:Death of Common Sense


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common
Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how
old he
was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing
when
to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that
life
isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are
in
charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned
but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition. It declined even further
when schools were required to get parental consent to administer
aspirin to
a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became
pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost
after a
woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she
spilled a
bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement Common Sense was
preceded
in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his
daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two
stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral
because so few realized he was gone. If you still know him pass this
on, if
not join the majority and do nothing.


"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." ~ Edmund Burke
[b]
Reply
#39
Colleen Wrote:                                                                                                                                                                                                                            [attachment=600] this is the picture I told you about.IOI look in the funny photos. "whats the differance between amoose knuckle and a camel toe,  also I like the photo that reads "from a womens point of view.have a good laugh.

my dear Dear friend you gave me so much over our 55 yr I just can't believe it's over Sad  Know that you are sorely, Sorely missed more than words can say [attachment=599] *Tears*

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Brick [split] Cartoons and stuff to make you smile Annette 0 941 12-13-2006, 03:39 AM
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